The 4x4 Jeeps of DEATH

  Imagine having to cram into the backseat of a jeep that did not have enough space for your knees to go straight in front of you.  This is an uncomfortable arrangement even when there are two people sharing the seat, but your knees can be angled inward to allow for proper fitting.  Now imagine that because one of the three jeeps in your group breaks down in the middle of nowhere, your jeep that is filled with 6 people no must take on an extra 3 people.  So, your knees in the backseat go from medium security prison to maximum security solitary which isn´t quite as bad as the seat in front of you which now has one person who is forced to lay across three peoples´ laps with their feet sticking out the window (seriously).  You wonder why the jeep has not called in for a replacement, and then you realize that none of the jeeps have any form of radios on them.  This arrangement of discomfort lasts for two days of traveling before you get your replacement truck only two hours before you reach back home.  Alas, this is only the backdrop for the real excitement of the trucks...

One person did not quite fit in the vehicle.

  Begin Day 2 on the salt flats.  Our truck spins out doing a half donut before driving into a sand bank and coming to a stop.  30 minutes later, the window will not shut in the front requiring us to dine on dust cloud after dust cloud from the trucks in front of us. 

  But, even when the window was fixed it did not matter for when we tried the air conditioning more dust poured from the air vents than an ostrich must breath when it puts its head under the sand.  2 hours later the passenger front door will not open requiring an elegant fix by shoving a screw driver in between the chassis of the door and the hood.  3 hours later we notice that one of our reflectors has popped out and is hanging by a wire.  4 hours later we were stuck in the mud.  We pushed and we pushed, but only after the drivers dug the wheels out did we actually move the car.  End Day 2.

  Begin Day 3 in the clown car from hell.  At some point our spare tire has been put onto our car.  But, our spare tire has exactly 0 treads (a picture will come later).  So, just like on Day 2 when we spun out, we fishtailed constantly.  This was especially frightening when we we on a one lane road with a precipitous drop on our left side as was quite normal for Bolivian roads.  Our only consolation if we died on the road was that it would be a cute grave site filled with many fluffy alpaca who were grazing below us.  To free up space in one car, we left our chef at a hostel while we went to tour sites.  Our chef was supposed to then walk for 30-40 minutes through the desert to meet us in the middle of nowhere on the road.  Yeah, that was a great idea (remember, NO RADIOS).  So we stop and wait looking for the little lady who is our chef dressed in a boulder cap and bright dress to wander up to our cars.  She did not show up, so we had to extend our stay in the cramped jeeps to go look for her.  It turned out that she had found a different ride back to town and left a note at our hostel for us.  At least our trip was almost over, or so we thought.  2 hours from town, our truck stopped unceremoniously.  Our treadless tire had blown a flat.  So, we took out the jack, and the wrench, and the our spare tire.  Oh wait. What?  You mean that the spare tire that our car was carrying belongs to the other car?  The other car that was ahead of us on the road and who has no idea that we stopped?  Why don´t you radio, oh.  We rationed our water, made a large help sign on the side of the road and began betting on how long it would take the other car to come back for us.  Only 8 cars passed us in the desert over the next 1.5 hours until our help arrived.  The flat tire was icing on the cake.

Fortunately our group in the jeep was great and we had fun when we felt that there was no imminent danger.  But, travelers beware the next time you are in the Twilight Zone that is the surreal salt flats, for the Jeeps of Death are lurking, ready for their next victim.