Messages or Massages

It really wouldn't matter if it were on a Chinese sign, because English translations are so bad that they are normally incomprehensible.  In fact, Massages probably would have been translated into English as something like Stroking.  Not that the two were always separate, as I found out the only night that I went out with the group without Michelle.  I was loathe to not talk to a stranger (normally they wanted to take their picture with us...still a common occurrence), and when a nice frumpy looking Chinese lady asked me something that I didn't understand I tried to understand her better until my traveling buddy started laughing at me and I realized that her invitation to get a massage was accompanied by solicitations for her "pretty girls" who were sitting on a nearby bench.  Michelle didn't let me talk to any strangers in the middle of the night anymore :)

From the Infant Health Desk (read: changing station) to the Stool signs outside of bathrooms to the Careful Slide (read: Careful, Slippery) there was an abundance of really, really, REALLY amusingly translated English.  It wasn't even all translated the same way.  Each sign had a different translation that was typically made by google translator (I found this out at the end of our tour, but was none too surprised).  Even at the World Expo, the English translations were difficult to comprehend.  I could deal with difficult to understand, but 90% of the time, the English was unfortunately incomprehensible.  I might have broken multiple laws or put myself in mortal danger many times on the trip without knowing it because the translated sign made no sense.  But, I did very much appreciate the fact that everywhere in China, people tried to accommodate English speakers.  It is certainly much more than we do for them.

We did get massages in China.  They were awesome...for Michelle.  I chose to get a reflexology of the foot instead of the massage.  While Michelle sat in pleasure, I was in pain as the guy popped my toes and pressed on tendons to fix ailments in my stomach, brain, and all over.  Too bad I didn't know what reflexology was when I bought it.  I was sore for a day.  Unfortunately, we didn't have time to go to the Blind Meususes all over Beijing, but based on the cloud Michelle was on for a day after her first massage, it would have been great.